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RIPPED FROM THE PAGES OF “POP PLANET: AS TOLD BY AN EARTHLING HISTORIAN”
The Soda Stream Supreme of ‘69
Before the Earthling year 1969, Pop Planet was a planet much like the Earth many Milky Way residents knew…until the fateful day of February 32, 1969 (Year 202 in Pop Planet terms), in which a mysterious bubble-filled meteor from an unknown galaxy entered the Milky Way and made a slam dunk on the soon-to–be-named country and capital of Pop Planet, Carbonation. The meteor hit right on the face of a river, instantly injecting the water with gallons of pure carbonation and essentially Soda Streaming that water right up. Ever since that day, the world of Pop Planet has run solely on soda pop.
On the flip side, the meteor, known as shattered upon impact and any cosmic soda rock particles that weren’t immediately dissolved into the river’s water dispersed into the air and eventually made their way around the entire planet. These microscopic particles seem to be infinite in number and no matter how much time passes, the air on Pop Planet in any location around the world is filled to the brim with tiny cosmic soda rock particles. Breathing in these particles causes any living being’s internal structures to be reformed completely–meaning, anyone who breathes in air particles on Pop Planet is instantly rendered 100% unable to sustain on anything else other than the cosmic soda sourced from the Supreme Carbonator. Attempts to eat or drink anything else results in killing the individual, much like how an idiot on Earth might try to feed their dog chocolate. This is why, ever since the Supreme Carbonation of ‘69, residents of Pop Planet quickly adapted to only drinking FIZZPOP!-branded soda as their sole source of nutrition.
The scientific reasoning behind the auto-generation of infinite cosmic soda particles in the air and water even years after the shattering of the Supreme Carbonator has still not been found. While some science labs on Pop Planet are dedicated to uncovering this mystery, a good portion of the residents on the planet have come to the terms that they will only be able to drink soda for the rest of their lives and have stopped questioning everything.
A mysterious cosmic entity known as The Constructor has been rumored to have steered the meteor right onto Pop Planet on purpose. While residents of Pop Planet aren’t 100% sure of the reason why, theorists have speculated that The Constructor was birthed into the universe for the sole purpose of creating Pop Planet and then injecting it with the cosmic soda nestled within The Supreme Carbonator. Others theorize that The Constructor is just a local god who got bored one day. (Both theories are true.)
The Soda Stream Supreme of ‘69
Before the Earthling year 1969, Pop Planet was a planet much like the Earth many Milky Way residents knew…until the fateful day of February 32, 1969 (Year 202 in Pop Planet terms), in which a mysterious bubble-filled meteor from an unknown galaxy entered the Milky Way and made a slam dunk on the soon-to–be-named country and capital of Pop Planet, Carbonation. The meteor hit right on the face of a river, instantly injecting the water with gallons of pure carbonation and essentially Soda Streaming that water right up. Ever since that day, the world of Pop Planet has run solely on soda pop.
On the flip side, the meteor, known as shattered upon impact and any cosmic soda rock particles that weren’t immediately dissolved into the river’s water dispersed into the air and eventually made their way around the entire planet. These microscopic particles seem to be infinite in number and no matter how much time passes, the air on Pop Planet in any location around the world is filled to the brim with tiny cosmic soda rock particles. Breathing in these particles causes any living being’s internal structures to be reformed completely–meaning, anyone who breathes in air particles on Pop Planet is instantly rendered 100% unable to sustain on anything else other than the cosmic soda sourced from the Supreme Carbonator. Attempts to eat or drink anything else results in killing the individual, much like how an idiot on Earth might try to feed their dog chocolate. This is why, ever since the Supreme Carbonation of ‘69, residents of Pop Planet quickly adapted to only drinking FIZZPOP!-branded soda as their sole source of nutrition.
The scientific reasoning behind the auto-generation of infinite cosmic soda particles in the air and water even years after the shattering of the Supreme Carbonator has still not been found. While some science labs on Pop Planet are dedicated to uncovering this mystery, a good portion of the residents on the planet have come to the terms that they will only be able to drink soda for the rest of their lives and have stopped questioning everything.
A mysterious cosmic entity known as The Constructor has been rumored to have steered the meteor right onto Pop Planet on purpose. While residents of Pop Planet aren’t 100% sure of the reason why, theorists have speculated that The Constructor was birthed into the universe for the sole purpose of creating Pop Planet and then injecting it with the cosmic soda nestled within The Supreme Carbonator. Others theorize that The Constructor is just a local god who got bored one day. (Both theories are true.)