YOU WISH YOU WERE HER. BUT YOU? YOU COULD NEVER BE HER.

Meet Miss Space Cadet, your 
new idol

She’s young, she’s spry, she’s retro, she’s futurist, she’s so retrofuturist space fashion! Miss Space Cadet is as old as the universe itself, and she is historically the first being to travel the entire Milky Way Galaxy at the youthful young youngster age of 1,000,000 years young. Those old men thought they were the first to walk on the moon? Miss Space Cadet was doing that back in the year 100 BC with thigh-high go-go boots on! She’s ahead of her time. Avant garde. Fashion. Lady Gaga’s birth mother and confidant. Madonna’s fashion designer and producer. Björk’s inspiration for when Björk did that dolphin noise that one time. A goddess to all Martians and Earthlings and Pop Planeteers. The destroyer of worlds, and your dad’s rear end.

-Bio written by Miss Space Cadet herself

Miss Space Cadet’s favorite soda flavor is

“Asteroid Synesthesia”   

MISS SPACE CADET’S STATSAge: Timeless
Race: Shooting Star
Family: God, probably
Friends: Blair, Punch, Pluto, Miss H.E.R., Enya, Creature
Fans: About half of the planet’s population
Enemies: The other half of the planet’s population

MSC’s Facts

Miss Space Cadet owns and operates the Milky Way’s only interspatial transit station, Miss Space Cadet’s Shooting Star Station. How do you travel through space? You call up Miss Space Cadet and you ride her back as she takes you into space.

Miss Space Cadet is a musician in her free time. What instrument does she play? Her esophagus…she’s a singer. Sometimes she puts on hard rock concerts while she’s showing tourists around through space. Do they ever ask for it? No, but she’s very good at singing!

Miss Space Cadet is friends with the planet Pluto, who she visits every lightyear or so to make sure he’s doing okay.

Miss Space Cadet has seen eternity.

Miss Space Cadet is as old as time itself. No, really. She was the first star to appear in the universe’s history. So it shouldn’t be all too surprising that she’s done basically everything. Becoming a rockstar, befriending entire solar systems...you name it, she’s done it. But doing basically everything that can be done in the universe can leave you feeling existentially empty...and it can also give you a massively inflated ego. Beauty guru FizzTubers don’t have shit on Miss Space Cadet. She’s been caught up in a scandal or two herself, back in her hayday. But for Miss Space Cadet, every day is her hayday. She usually gets involved in about two to five scandals a day, just to give herself a little bit of fun. Does she ever take accountability for her actions? Of course not! It gets boring being up in space for so long. Just don’t ask Miss Space Cadet her age. She’s timeless!